The internet has exploded recently with the revelation that this decade's "Savior of English Football™," Wayne Rooney, is intent on leaving the favorite team of that friend of yours who also likes the Yankees, Cowboys, and Lakers. Cue wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I've never used the phrase "wind up" (that I know of) in my "real" life. It's one of those Britishims adopted by so many Americans when talking about soccer, partly because it's fun to say, but also because we don't really have an easy equivalent.


In most of the big time American sports, announcers might say a player is trying to "get under the skin" of another player. Essentially, we're talking about baiting, trying to elicit a reaction that will hopefully lead to an advantage for the team doing the "winding up".


Which leads us to one of the more overplayed story lines, at least for me, in the week leading up to the USA v. England match on Saturday. Headlines scream that the Yanks plan to "wind up" England all-world striker Wayne Rooney, with our boys who have spent a significant amount of time in the land of tea and crumpets even using the phrase (of course they would, it's part of the soccer jargon over there). Quotes from Jay DeMerit are being thrown around, with the Watford defender commenting on Rooney's historical penchant for destructive tantrums. But are the Americans really planning to wind up Rooney, a supremely talented player and the key to the English attack, in an effort to gain some shady advantage?


I don't think so, and even if they were, it's certainly not a cogent "strategy". DeMerit and his partner, be it Goodson or Onyewu, might cagily throw some pointed words Rooney's way, and we know they won't back down from playing the Manchester United striker physically. But there's a clear line as to how far they can go, and anything that might come close to crossing that line would be a very bad idea indeed.


The Americans certainly can't afford to get anyone sent off, and it might be playing with fire just a bit too much if they needled Rooney strongly enough to get him to explode as he's done so many times before.

"The team know that you try to wind Rooney up. But I think he's learned over the years, with people telling him that's an easy way to get at him. I don't think it's as easy to wind Rooney up as people think it is. The preparations for him in particular, of course, are going to be high. We just have to make sure we make his day as difficult as possible."

- Jay DeMerit

If we read DeMerit's comments closely, it's clear that he thinks, or wants to give the impression that he thinks, Rooney isn't as easily riled as he used to be. That may be the case, but incidents like yesterday's slip, where Rooney was nearly sent off for cursing at the referee in England's friendly training session against a South African club side, make it clear he still has a tendency to lose his wits. While pushing Rooney, be it verbally or physically, might throw him off his game in some small way, intentionally setting out to do so is beyond what I can believe the Americans have planned.


Saturday will be about professionals doing what professionals do. DeMerit and his cohorts might give Roo a thing or two to think about, but none of it will be outside of the bounds of what they do, and he puts up with, on a weekly basis.

If you weren't convinced that there was a huge market for even the most trivial minutiae of World Cup tidbits, think again. The Sun dramatically revealed today that England star Wayne Rooney travels with... a pillow. Shocking, I know. But he's not the only South African bound footballer that has a lucky charm or essential item. What's that, poorly disguised rhetorical tool? You want to know what items other famous soccer players are taking to the World Cup? Well you've come to the right place.



Rooney's England strike partner Peter Crouch gets homesick for his WAG, Abbey Clancy. So he has something to cuddle with, Crouchinho carries a scale miniature England player around with him- Shaun Wright-Phillips, that is.


Slovenia Captain Robert Koren has a world atlas, so he can show people where the hell Slovenia is on a map.


Germany's Bastian Schweinsteiger is bringing a book on the construction of the railroad system of central Europe.


Often beset by injuries, Netherlands forward Robin van Persie has a full medical kit with him at all times, and for really big emergencies, a jar of horse placenta.


All members of the North Korean national team have been given wall posters of the Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il. They're also outfitted with an explosive device embedded in their skull, to ensure satisfactory performance.


Argentina's third choice keeper, Sergio Romero, is bringing a special party balloon for his manager, and a bottle of ex-lax to get it for him.


Brazil playmaker Kaka has his autographed picture of man-crush and BFF Cristiano Ronaldo.


Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo has his autographed picture of man-crush and BFF Cristiano Ronaldo.


On the advice of predecessor David Beckham, England captain Rio Ferdinand has his name and address sewn into the back of all his shirts.


They might be flying to South Africa, but the Greek national team has brought along their own customized bus to park in front of goal. Also, it has a souvlaki bar.


USA winger Stuart Holden has arranged for an industrial sized tub of hair product to be sent to every city where he'll be staying.


German strikers Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski each brought their Polish to German dictionaries.

Admit it. When you heard that Wayne Rooney injured his ankle in Manchester United's Champions League match with Bayern yesterday, you let yourself dream. You let yourself dream that the striker, who is the most dangerous man in the world (apologies to Lionel Messi) in front of net at the moment, might miss the World Cup.


Consider your dreams (and mine) dashed.


Rooney will miss some time due to the problem ankle, but it won't be enough to affect his World Cup participation. Two to four weeks is the prognosis, and if I were a betting man, I might put a little on his return coming closer to two rather than four. Manchester United's title hopes take a major hit without Rooney, and there's little reason to doubt his heart or commitment. Ferguson won't be able to keep him out of the lineup as soon as the swelling subsides.


It's possible the Rooney's injury is actually a boon for England's chances; the time he will miss now, provided he returns completely healthy, is a bit of a rest for a player expending himself week in and week out in multiple competitions for United. Still, any injury at all to their most important player is trouble for England, especially if Rooney rushes back and risks re-injuring himself closer to the tournament in South Africa.


How much better would the American chances of a victory be on June 12th if England was without Rooney? Better, of course, though it doesn't look like we'll get to find out.


Maybe you weren't hoping for Rooney to be out longer. Maybe your of the mind that the US needs to take on England on their best, because if they are able to pull off the upset, it will mean that much more. In that case, you can be happy today.


For the rest of us, it's a dream unfulfilled. Damn.