- Keith Hickey

A soccer player today announced that he would play soccer. He announced that the soccer would be played for the country he was born in. He could have potentially played soccer for another, larger country, and some fans and reporters in that larger country were disappointed that he chose to play for the smaller country, the one that he was born in. Some were dismissive and derisive of his choice, and a very small few secretly considered him ungrateful. The majority of fans were mildly disappointed, but expected the news, seeing as he was born in the smaller country.

On the other side of the World, a player who was born in and spent most of his life in the aforementioned country, but played for a third, more historically successful nation via his ancestry, is still a Jersey Shore-wannabe dick.