Edson Buddle Day: May 15


With the new Major League Soccer schedule out, Jason has asked me to cast my discerning eye over the forthcoming season, and make a few predictions about what we're likely to see, and which clashes will provide the most interesting storylines. If it's a little Union-heavy, well, tough noogies. I'm from Philly. Deal with it. So without further delay, here are Match Fit USA's 100%, completely air-tight, sure thing, bet-the-farm-and-grandma-too, MLS 2010 Predictions:

Thursday, March 25, 2010
Seattle hosts Philadelphia for first kick. The ever-present Seattle rain mercifully camouflages evidence of "excitement" that would otherwise be painfully evident on Don Garber and Union fans who made the trip.

Saturday, March 27, 2010
The first big rivalry day. Columbus and Toronto both play miserably, drawing 1-1 in the "Watched Green Street Waaaaaay Too Many Times" Cup. FC Dallas loses 6-4 to Houston in the best game of the season. It only gets aired in Spanish. The Brilliant new Red Bull Arena opens up in front of nine thousand fans.

Thursday, April 1, 2010
Chivas USA and LA Galaxy play the LA Supermegasoccerclassicoderby at the Home Depot Center. Everyone else politely feigns interest.

Saturday, April 10, 2010
My already beloved Union hosts DC at Lincoln Financial Field in our first home game. As it's six days short of my twenty-first birthday, I enjoy the game completely sober. Also, I have a bridge you may be interested in buying. And a farm full of pigs who are training for their commercial pilot licenses.

Thursday, April 15, 2010
Toronto's first turf-less match is abandoned after Canadian players refuse to disobey "Keep off the Grass" signs.

Saturday, May 15, 2010
Edson Buddle Day.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Real Salt Lake draw 14,000 fans while hosting Kansas City in one of the finest soccer facilities this country has ever seen. Meanwhile, DC United pack 19,000 into RFK, and have to use another roll of duct tape to hold the goalposts together.

Saturday, June 5, 2010
Upset at not going to the World Cup, Frankie Hejduk kicks Wells Thomspson in the face. Columbus fans make a statue to commemorate the moment.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010
RSL host LA in a rematch of last season's MLS cup. Somehow, it ends up in penalties. And still ends in a draw.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

My Union host the Sounders for the first game at our new stadium, which also happens to be the date on which the USMNT is likely to be playing if we progress to the second round. Whichever team I decide to watch loses miserably.

Sunday, July 4, 2010
Seattle and LA get out the rulers for the "BEST MLS CLUB EVAR" clash. Meanwhile, wewintrophies.com continues to un-ironically link to the DC website.

Saturday, July 24, 2010
Somebody lights a flare at a Chicago game, sparking a debate between people who like soccer and people who were raised by insurance adjusters and librarians.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

New York gets this season's away point.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Euan Holden makes his debut for Houston Dynamo, swaps shirts with Freddie Ljungberg. Every reader of Kickette sighs dreamily.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Home Depot Center has a blackout. Victoria Beckham gets looted.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

New York are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.

Saturday, October 16, 2010
A team from East of the Mississippi qualifies for the Western Conference playoffs.

Saturday, October 23, 2010
Toronto need a draw to qualify for the playoffs. DC beat them 4-0, on three own goals and a penalty. Julian de Guzman stubs his toe in the shower.

Sunday, November 21, 2010
MLS Cup Final Day. New England loses. Taylor Twellman gets his Clint Dempsey dartboard out.
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