Well hello there! Long time no see! I bet you thought you were rid of me and my insane propensity for exclamations...but no! I'm back!
And there's a reason for that. Since we last met, much has happened in the world of the MLS CBA negotiations! The two sides appear to be really, really mad at each other, and it looks like there might even be a strike. Can you say slap fight?
Who will come out on top in the epic game of chicken that is finalizing the next labor agreement for America's top flight soccer league? Will it be the owners, those fat cat rich guys sitting on top of their gigantic piles of money? Or the players, who might be better off working for the world's largest retail chain rather than play a game for a living? Wait, what?
The rhetoric is flying like so much spittle, and even the League has decided to break their previous silence in light of a coordinated PR blitz by the Players.
Let's see if we can't recreate the timeline, shall we? If I screw this up, just keep in mind that I'm loaded with a fifth of whiskey and enough prescription painkillers to take down Rush Limbaugh! Oh the agony...
Stuff that happened on Friday, February 19th
First, various soccer writers filed stories on a sudden turn in the negotiations, with all of the talking being done by the Players. Got a bunch of chatty goalkeepers, that MLSPU!
"We feel the league's not taking us very seriously at all," said Houston goalkeeper Pat Onstad, a member of the player's union executive committee. "We're pretty far apart at this stage."
"Earlier in January there were some indications that some progress was going to be made, but right now, I think the negotiations are really in a bad place. We're a long way from getting this deal done."
“I can honestly say that I don’t think things were ever going great,” said Cannon. “But there was a lot more hope when we had a little bit more time. Maybe people just felt that through negotiations things could hopefully get done, but I think now it’s come to a point where the reality of the situation has to eclipse the hope we all have.”
"I know on our side, we’re prepared to strike if we have to for what we want,” said Cannon. “If the owners feel as adamant about treating us like they do, that’s up to them. It’s their business.”
Then, and without warning, the entirety of humanity was blindsided by a barrage of tweets by MLS players on the social networking service.
Twellman. Riley. Cannon. Williams.
And that's not all! There were more, including some who felt the need to lash out on Facebook! I'm just too lazy to go hunt them down right now, and besides, I'm sure you get the picture!
Then, like a thief in the night, or something else more accurate and poetic, Friday slipped away...
Stuff that happened on Saturday, February 20th
The Players had their say on Friday, so of course the League had to respond! You think they would let those punks paint them in a bad light without firing back with a Gatling gun of smackdown? No-sir-ee-bob!
"They're mis-characterizing the scope, extent and seriousness of the proposals that the league has made," Abbott said. "We can't compel them to accept those proposals, we can't compel them to appreciate those proposals but I can tell you that they are significant. To say that the league is not serious is a complete mis-characterization of what has happened over the past few weeks, or months for that matter."
"There was some sense that the league hadn't been taking the negotiations seriously, and had not made serious proposals, and nothing could be further from the truth," said Abbott. "In terms of economics, the league has agreed to increase its spending on players by over $60 million."
"We just don't see free agency being a part of that structure or something that would be good for the league. And so that's not something that's in the proposal or something we're prepared to do."
“Our view has been that the most effective way to negotiate a CBA extension is to do so in the bargaining room, across the table, and not in the media,” said Abbott.
“We’re ready to continue bargaining with the players,” said Abbott. “That being said, we’re not going to make changes in the league or commit to spending that would impair the long-term future of the league. That’s something we can’t do. We would never do something that would hurt our long-term future simply to avoid a work stoppage. But we’re hopeful there isn’t going to be one.”
Mark "The Hammer" Abbott, ladies and gentlemen! Let's hear it for him! Obviously the Players were just a tad bit miffed that one of their major demands for this CBA, free agency, was pushed aside like so much nonsense by the Politbur - I mean MLS leadership.
Stuff that happened on Sunday, February 21st
Perhaps it would have been for the best if the back-and-forth had ended there, with each side getting in their shots. Fair is fair, right? But noooooo, the Players, via some dude that "runs" the Union, just had to respond to the League's statements...so here we go again!
"It is unfortunate that MLS doesn't see the modest changes we have proposed as being good for the league, especially since until these changes are made, more and more quality players who should be playing in MLS, will not be doing so. It will also be a shame if the league's refusal to improve its system results in a work stoppage."
For your sanity and mine, I left out all of the math that Che Foose rattled on about. Just know that he claimed the League is fudging the numbers to make their offer sound better than it actually is, which is pretty damn clever of them! "$60 million" sounds like a lot, right? Guess not!
Nothing much happened on Monday, which is just boring, but I'm sure it will pick up again soon. The clock is ticking, the end is nigh, the bell is soon to toll, the rubber will meet the road, the mill will grist the...
Whoa. I think I just blacked out there for a second. What were we talking about? MLS CBA propaganda? Jeez, that doesn't sound like fun at all. I think I'll pass, thank you very much! I'm sure there are plenty of others, much smarter than I am and without the annoying need to yell all the time that could really explain what the hell is going on.
Fake Sigi
Nutmeg Radio
SoccerLaw
MFUSA's Jason Kuenle (be sure to read the comments)
Ridge Mahoney
Ives
Wake me up on Friday. Unless there's no deal, in which case I'm going to need a lot of Vicodin. Bye then! Thanks for stopping by! Happy CBAing!
