It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO.
That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom.
It may be very early days yet for the 2010 Major League Soccer season, but that won't stop me from confidently making some sweeping predictions based on extrapolation of a tiny sample of data. In fact, it just gives me more options to fail with, and more outlandish assertions to make that'll have me looking more sheepish than Carl Robinson eating lamb chops. I'll be taking a look at my serious pre-season predictions and see how they're holding up, and where necessary, waffle more than a Belgian politician at breakfast.
My Preseason Predictions:
Supporters Shield: LA Galaxy
I look pretty smart on this one so far. Three played, three won, and Landon Donovan has yet to break a sweat. Edson Buddle is scoring like a man possessed, although I wouldn't put that particular motivational tactic past Bruce Arena, who seems intent on reminding all those Sigi Schmid fans just who the best manager in American history is.
MLS Golden Boot: Fredy Montero
Well, he's got one goal, hasn't he? And yes, it was against an expansion team in their first ever game, and yes, Seattle will be trying to avoid the sophomore slump, and... To hell with it, I'll drink the Edson Buddle Kool-Aid. It's hard not to score when you've got the best player in the league serving you slices of fried gold all day long.
Coach of the Year: Piotr Nowak
I'm sticking with this one. Bruce Arena may have been a smarter choice, but if Nowak can guide the Union to the playoffs (By never, ever taking Roger Torres off the field), this award is his. Besides, the MLS brass is in love with Philly at the moment.
Newcomer of the Year: Ryan Smith
Well don't I look slick? The former Arsenal kid is pulling strings like Machiavelli, and has been involved in every single goal the Rainbow Warriors have scored this season. The moral of the story, kids? Blind homerism just works.
Rookie of the Year: Toni Ståhl
Wait, scratch that last moral. I figured with having just under 84% of all rookies in the league, someone on the Union would win, if only by law of averages, so I went with the player I felt was most ready to play in MLS. Well so far, he's been sent off in his first match, sent down to USL-2, and injured himself. Zach Schilawski is looking good for New England, just a shame all of his goals counted for Columbus.
Most Valuable Player: Kyle Beckerman
He may not have lit up the world just yet, but Major League Soccer's best dreadlocked white guy from suburban Annapolis is one of the best players in the league, and the most important component in the reigning champions. Until someone else steps up, my vote, not that I have one, is staying with Beckerman.
Major League Soccer Champions: Seattle Sounders
I still think that the Sounders have the kind of talent and experience needed to win the MLS Cup. They won't win the supporters shield, but they should make the playoffs, and they've got the kind of key players that can put a team over the top in important matches. I still think Seattle are the best bet to win the Cup, so no change here.
