Think you know where MLS, NASL, and USL-Pro teams play? Well, prove it! I got bored during my lunch break and came up with this. It's also available in Facebook, if that's your thing.

-CB

It's the offseason, and I really don't want to waste brain cells on the Re-Entry draft, so I've whipped up a little interactive post for you guys. I was bored the other day, and got to thinking about a hypothetical situation where instead of a main US national team, each state had a representative side. I got most of four big states, but I wanted to open up the floor to see if I've missed anyone (I'm sure I have), and to allow readers to post the best XI or squad from their own state. I'll update this post as often as possible while we're doing this.

CALIFORNIA
GK:
Chris Seitz - Philadelphia Union
Nick Rimando - Real Salt Lake
Boaz Myhill - West Brom (England)
DF:
Heath Pearce - FC Dallas
Frankie Hejduk - Columbus Crew
Carlos Bocanegra - Saint-Etienne (France) (C)
Danny Califf - Philadelphia Union
Patrick Ianni - Seattle Sounders
Michael Orozco Fiscal - Philadlephia Union
Mike Chabala - Houston Dynamo
MF:
Landon Donovan - Los Angeles Galaxy
Sacha Kljestan - Anderlecht (Belgium)
Peter Vagenas - Colorado Rapids
Robbie Rogers - Comumbus Crew
Maurice Edu - Rangers (Scotland)
Luis Gil - Real Salt Lake
Chris Pontius - DC United
Jovan Kirovski - Los Angeles Galaxy
Eric Avila - FC Dallas
Jeff Larentowicz - Colorado Rapids
FW:
Sal Zizzo - Chivas USA
Chad Barrett - Toronto FC
Herculez Gomez - Pachuca (Mexico)
Tristan Bowen - Los Angeles Galaxy

Manager:
Cobi Jones

NEW JERSEY
GK:
Tim Howard - Everton (England)
Brian Edwards - San Jose Earthquakes
Chris Konopka - Waterford United (Ireland)
DF:
Gregg Berhalter - Los Angeles Galaxy
Ryan Adeleye - Hapoel Be'er Sheva (Israel)
MF:
Michael Bradley - Gladbach (Germany) (C)
Mike Seamon - Seattle Sounders
Eddie Gaven - Columbus Crew
Nick LaBrocca - Toronto FC
Stephen King - DC United
Danny Szetela - Unattached
Alejandro Bedoya - Örebro (Sweden)
FW:
Giuseppe Rossi - Villarreal (Spain)
Jozy Altidore - Villarreal (Spain)
Jemal Johnson - MK Dons (England)
Vincenzo Bernardo - Nola Calcio (Italy)

Manager:
Bob Bradley

PENNSYLVANIA
GK:
Jon Conway - Toronto FC
Patrick Hannigan - Unattached
DF:
Zarek Valentin - Michigan Bucks, University of Akron
Jim Curtin - Unattached
Chris Albright - New York Red Bulls
Jeff Parke - Seattle Sounders
Marvell Wynne - Colorado Rapids
MF:
Bobby Convey - San Jose Earthquakes (C)
J.T. Noone - Philadelphia Union
Tony Donatelli - Montreal Impact
Jason Yeisley - FC Dallas
FW:
Marcus Tracy - Aalborg (Denmark)
Andrew Konopelsky - Newark Ironbound Express
Dan Antoniuk - San Diego Boca
Corey Hertzog - Reading United, Penn State University

Manager:
Ben Olsen

TEXAS
GK:
Tyler Deric - Houston Dynamo
DF:
Zak Whitbread - Norwich City (England)
Hunter Freeman - IK Start (Norway)
Nelson Akwari - Vancouver Whitecaps
Greg Garza - Estoril Praia (Portugal)
Bobby Boswell - Houston Dynamo
Drew Moor - Colorado Rapids
Brede Hangeland - Fulham (England)
Omar Gonzalez - Los Angeles Galaxy
MF:
Daniel Hernandez - FC Dallas (C)
Davy Arnaud - Sporting KC
Clint Dempsey - Fulham (England)
Jose Francisco Torres - Pachuca (Mexico)
Lee Nguyen - Becamex Bình Dương (Vietnam)
Shea Salinas - Vancouver Whitecaps
Jay Needham - Orlando City
Jamie Watson - Orlando City
Francisco Navas - Houston Dynamo
FW:
Omar Salgado - Unattached
Sonny Guadarrama - Atlante (Mexico)
Brek Shea - FC Dallas
Conor Doye - Derby (England)
Corben Bone - Chicago Fire

Manager:
Jeff Agoos

VIRGINIA
GK:
Bill Hamid - D.C. United
Matt Van Oekel - NSC Minnesota Stars
Alexander Stopa - University of Louisville

DF:
Devon McTavish - D.C. United
Clarence Goodson - IK Start (Norway) (C)
Danny Cruz - Houston Dynamo
John Gilkerson - Carolina Railhawks
Josh Rice - University of North Carolina
David Walden - University of North Carolina

MF:
Corey Ashe - Houston Dynamo
Conor Shanosky - D.C. United
Brian Carroll - Philadelphia Union
Bobby Foglesong - Richmond Kickers
Jordan Cyrus - University of Maryland
John Sterzter - University of Maryland
Nicholas Abrigo - College of William and Mary

FW:
Brandon Massie - Charleston Battery
Roger Bothe - Richmond Kickers
Jordan Evans - Richmond Kickers
Trevor McEachron - Richmond Kickers
Alan Koger - College of William and Mary
Brian Ownby - University of Virginia

Manager:
Wade Barrett

This could be me! I'm just a little older and whiter...

What could possibly break up a monotonous day better than receiving an email wherein you're given, in exchange for a nominal fee of course, the opportunity to go on trial with a professional club in England, Holland, Belgium, or France?


Nothing, that's what.


That's right - yours truly, who hasn't kicked a ball competitively in more years than I'd like to admit, was approached, via email, by someone claiming to be an agent with an amazing and life-changing opportunity. Pay a £350 registration fee, and I could be whisked to Europe with the chance to earn myself a 3-year contract as a professional player.


There are so many great aspects to this email that I hardly know where to begin. That being the case, I'm just going to reproduce the email here, and have at it.



***

Hello Player (You flatter me. Maybe in my single days...)

How are you doing today? (I'm okay. My bum knee is acting up...) Hope you are fine, I am [this dude's name], and a soccer scout based in United Kingdom I am currently recruiting players for clubs in England, and Germany soccer team. I saw your profile on soccer agent (Um...okay.) and I can see it will fit in to clubs in England and rest of Europe (Seriously? That's amazing considering I don't actually play professionally). I am now using this medium to ask you if you will be interested in a trial out in soccer clubs. (Sure, I could have some fun at a trial out in soccer clubs.)

If interested, Kindly forward to me your previous playing experience and your CV (resume) having a look at it and sending it to some clubs in European soccer league. (Hmm...this could be a problem.)

NOTE: ACCOMMODATION WILL BE TAKEN CARE OFF BY THE CLUB EXCEPT THE MEDICAL INSURANCE WHICH WILL COME ALONG WITH THE INVITATION LETTER, PLAYER'S REGISTRATION WILL BE BORED BY YOU.(ABOUT 350 British Pounds) (Is this a catch? £350 isn't too bad, but what about medical insurance? I'm guessing it won't be cheap.) THE TRIAL PERIOD IS FROM June 25th to July 25 2010. (You know you sent this too me on the 21st right?) You should understand that at present we have only.

1. Oldham Football Club (England).
2. Gent Fc of Belgium
3. Rbc Rosendha Fc of Holland
4. Olympique Marseille
5. Sparta Rotherdam
6. Barnsley FC (England).
7. Southend Fc (England).

(Okay, okay, okay, WHAT? Marseille? Wow! Wait. Are these names all a little weird?)

Send the CV and reply to: [this dude's email address]

You can check me out at FIFA WEBSITE TO CONFIRM MY REGISTRATION

http://www.fifa.com/aboutfifa/federation/administration/playersagents/association=eng.html

(I looked. You're not there. Does that mean you're lying, confused, or just a shady bastard? If you're scamming me, why not use a name that's actually on the list?)

Entry requirements for interested players:

(1.) Players must be male and aged 17 to 28. (Oops. I wish I was 28 again.)
(2.) Players must hold a valid national passport; the passport must be valid for a minimum of three months. (Check!)
(3.) Players must pay a registration fee of 350 British Pounds per Each player. (Maybe I can take up a collection.)

N.B: Please note that this fee covers the player's registration and invitation letter along with medical Insurance only. Your travel tickets, hotel accommodation (all inclusive), trial kits, venue hire, match officials, and water/refreshment is funded by clubs sponsors and free for all registered players. (Sweet! Oh right, I'm too old.)

4. Scanned copies of international passport or national I.D Card data page and passport photograph should be scanned and sent through Email attachment for identification purposes including your CV. (Promise my picture won't end up on a dating site and it's a deal.)

5. Please know that this is only a trial program, it is in no way an assurance of a place in the team and each player will be judged by his skills, techniques and ability with the ball on the field of play by the coach and the entire technical department of the team. (Time to go pop in that tricks video.)

The player that impresses the coaches would be drafted to the reserve team and must sign a compulsory 3 years contract with the listed clubs. (Cha-ching.)

However, dropped players will be compensated and they will return to their home countries with their return tickets, we also don't want people to abuse this medium and use it as an opportunity. (God forbid anyone takes advantage of an opportunity.)


Regards,
[this dude's name again]

***

Well, it doesn't look like I'll be going on trial this year. The period is over in three days, I don't meet the age requirements, and £350 is a little too rich for my blood. It's too bad too, because I really thought, suddenly, as soon as I read this email and despite never having considered it before because I'm not a footballer by any stretch of the imagination, that this might be my year to catch on somewhere.


Oh well. Maybe next year. And to think I could have been the real-life Santiago Muñez...


Alright, gotta go - some guy in Nigeria says there's a $3 million bank account with my name on it!

You may have heard that FA President Prince William, he of the early onset male pattern baldness to put Arjen Robben to shame, gave a pre-World cup pep talk to members of the England national team. You will not have heard, however, of the meeting between the England team and William's grandfather, Prince Philip.

Prince William: ...And now that I'm finished, my grandfather would like to have a quick word, gents.

Prince Philip: Hello, plebeian simpletons. I hear you're going to play against those uppity colonials and some of those dreadful foreign people who keep coming into our country and stealing all of our empire. Now, where's that conniving bastard Billy Wright?

David Beckham: I think the airplane's waiting at Heathrow, mister Queen mum.

Prince Philip: Shut up, David. I thought we got rid of you?

David Beckham: I'm here to do my name in joined-up-writing on pictures up me.

Prince William: Err, this is one of our defenders, Glen Johnson.

Glen Johnson: A privilege to meet you, your Highness.

Prince Philip: Oh, are you the one who slept with John Terry?

Prince William: Grandfather, that's grossly inappropriate.

Glen Johnson: No, no, it's okay. I had to do a lot of things to make the squad. A lot of things I'm not proud of. But it wasn't like I was going to make it on merit, was I?

Prince Philip: Here's my son Edward's phone number. I have a feeling that the two of you would get along nicely.

Prince William: He's really a nice fellow. Gave me a Lady Gaga box set for Christmas. Now, here's one of our strikers, Peter Crouch.

Prince Philip: Are you the one diddling the Clancy girl?

Peter Crouch: Erm, yes, sir?

Prince Philip: Get in, son. Give her one from me?

Peter Crouch: Yes, sir. Absolutely

Prince William: That was thoroughly disgusting. Speaking of which, these gentlemen here are our captain Steven Gerrard, striker Wayne Rooney, and defender Jamie Carragher.

Steven Gerrard, Wayne Rooney, and Jamie Carragher: (Indecipherable stream of Scouse ramblings)

Prince Philip: My, you're depressingly common, aren't you?

Steven Gerrard: Ta, yeah, tha's right. Deffo common like.

Prince Philip: And that animal is our captain? I hope we have some real leadership somewhere around here.

Fabio Capello: It is a great honor to meet you, Prince Philip.

Prince Philip: Eugh! Boy! Why is there some filthy continental here with the England team?

Prince William: That's Fabio Capello, sir. He's the manager. We hired a foreign one this time.

Prince Philip: Well, at least he's not that arse-kisser McClaren. That idiot thinks he's Dutch now.

I think we've all gotten over the initial shock of yesterday's selections but still, wow. I mean who saw that one coming? 24 years old, and your biggest dreams coming true? Captivating the hearts of a nation and swaying the opinions of some of the world's foremost judges of talent? Congratulations to Lee Dewyze, and a good ole "nice try" to Crystal.


Oh, and Robbie "Even his mother knows he has no chance" Findley is going to the World Cup. Whoops. Mea Culpa on that one, guys. But hey, thanks. Where would bloggers be if we didn't have readers to nitpick every single throwaway joke weeks after we've made them? I kid, I kid. I'm just happy someone besides Jason's mom is reading the site.


Speaking of soccer bloggers, I'm convinced that's how Bobby tracksuit (kudos for his ability to put on khakis to meet the three of the most influential men in the World) picked his World Cup squad.


"You know how everybody thinks Ching is a lock, EJ is my homeboy, Robbie Findley has about as much of a shot as I do when making my annual run at Amy Wynalda, and that I'm going to make Buddle and Gomez work a spot out Thunderdome style? Screw 'em. And I'm gonna take Feilhaber and Torres and leave out my pet project Bedoya. Ever see a blogosphere crap its pants out of shock? Well you will."


Speaking of crapping your pants, who else enjoyed watching the comedy of errors at left back Tuesday night? Jonathan Bornstein looked more lost out there than the tribe of Reuben. Aaron Lennon is already practicing signing a copy of The Sun with a terrible pun on the front page. Heath Pearce looked about as interested in defending as Marcus Hahnemann does at a performance of The Vagina Monologues. "But there's always Bocanegra!" cry the hilariously optimistic US fans. Yep, the same Bocanegra who just had a hernia operation and spent most of the evening filling his finely tuned body with burgers and buffalo wings.


At least it's American junk food. Wouldn't want his time at Rennes turning him into some frog-leg munching nancy boy, like some twisted continental version of Brad Friedel. Or John Harkes, when he tries to drop slang.


Speaking of of Mr. Amy Wynalda (I know! Two Amy Wynalda jokes in one post. I'm so cutting edge, like Vanilla Ice's heavy metal album.), he sounds like an idiot when paired with JP Dellacamera. Putting him in a booth with Martin Tyler is like playing co-op Halo 3 with your friend who spends 6 hours a day on X-Box Live. Either way, it's not pretty. Brad Guzan levels of not pretty.


Tyler and Harkes isn't so much Abbot and Costello as it is Abbot and Carlos Mencia. But hey, it could be worse. I mean, it's not like our three best central defenders have serious health issues and our most important striker couldn't get playing time at one of the most abominable teams in Premiership history, right? I mean, that would bum me out like Taylor Twellman after TMZ's over.


Well, crap.


Better start working your ass off, Landon.

Genius in action

If you hadn't heard, Jose Mourinho beat Bayern Munich yesterday to win some relatively large soccer tournament. Jose's legend exploded into the realm of the ridiculous in the immediate aftermath, with his qualities as a coach, brilliance as a tactician, and magnetism of personality all fodder for the type of hero worship the likes of which we haven't seen since Douglas MacArthur departed Japan.


If it weren't for 250 million oblivious Americans and cricket-obsessed India, Mourinho would be a shoe-in for President of the World. Mourinho's triumph launched a thousand glowing columns and blog posts the way Helen's face launched a thousand ships, each looking for new ways to describe the brilliance of a man who single-handedly destroyed the Spanish empire of Barca on his way to another Champions League title. The fact that he looked so dapper doing it; well, he's not The Special One for nothing.


Mourinho's dominance of the headlines, garnering so much attention as a coach and not a player, is a testament to the force of his personality as much as his tactical brilliance. Sure, Mourinho beat the greatest attacking team the world has ever seen (oops, that was a month ago) with his defensive-minded game plan before repeating the feat against the Germans. But that alone can't be responsible the flood of words spent bathing the man in syrupy accolades, can it?


Even if it is, Mourinho's status as the preeminent figure in Inter's wonderful season despite the presence of world class players in the team is a rare departure from the usual distribution of attention. There is no direct comparison, since such an example would need to be a man who was recognized as both genius in the ways of the game and a hypnotically charming yet pompous narcissist of the highest order.


Is Mourinho one of a kind? Yes, undoubtedly. There is only one Mona Lisa, after all.


Our traditional American sports are littered with legendary coaches recognized for their genius. Lombardi was ground-breaking innovator and unparalleled leader of men. Stengel managed his collection of egos and bit players masterfully in New York. In more recent times, Joe Torre, Phil Jackson, and Bill Belechick have each been given the crown of "greatest coach in the history of everything". Yet none of them approach Mourinho's combination of ego, charisma, and ability. Torre is a good manager but ultimately a bore. Jackson brings little to the table beyond new age philosophies and the ability to win when he has basketball's best player. Belechick is a strategic genius who intentionally avoids saying anything interesting, ever.


Who then? Two men come to mind. While neither could hold a candle, relatively speaking, to Mourinho's tactical genius, both coached championship teams and had personalities bigger than the game itself.


The two candidates:


Red Auerbach



Auerbach's success was built on choosing the right players more than strategy; always ahead of his time in the former regard, the legendary Boston Celtics coach racked up title after title because he had a special ability to find talent. His larger-than-life personality is legendary, and even when he was no longer coaching the Celtics himself he was still seen as the man responsible for the club's success.

Auerbach may never have reached Jose's stratospheric level of combined magnetism and coaching reputation, but they definitely share a certain quality.


Mike Ditka



Iron Mike was never known as a strategic guy; Mike's greatness lied in his motivational abilities. It may even be wrong to call Ditka "great", since he was really just the lucky recipient of a dominate Bears defense with the genius of Buddy Ryan backing him up. But Ditka did have an impressive ego and a polarizing persona that more often drew people to him than pushed them away. Perhaps most in favor of Ditka being Mourinho's closest American parallel is the "Superfans" of Saturday Night Live, who regularly hypothesized that Dit-ka would defeat entire teams by himself. Even if Ditka couldn't actually defeat teams this way as Mourinho can, the simple fact that the possibility was discussed puts Ditka closer to Jose than anyone else.


These American coaches, who plied their trade in sports that pale in comparison to the beautiful game, are nothing when juxtaposed to the supernova Jose Mourinho. His star burns so bright now that it only makes sense for him to move to the club of the Galaticos; even there, surrounded by gaseous giants Ronaldo and Kaka, he will dominate the sky, causing their stars to fade next to his blinding brilliance.

Head go boom.

I find myself regularly saying something like "You'll know soccer is big in American when..." with various endings to the statement. Some of them relate to the media, others to the general public's view of soccer, and every now and then I'll have one specifically on MLS or the USMNT.


Why I never thought to write a post with all of the "You'll know it when" thoughts, I have no idea. But here I am, so let's do this.


All of these, if and when they happen, will be indicators that soccer, our league, and our National Team are at a previously unreached level. Or they're just mildly amusing.


I put this out on Twitter as well, so I'm including responses from there with proper credit given.


You'll know soccer is in America big when...

...MLS players other than David Beckham are hounded by TMZ (this is stolen directly from @jrodius).

...Sportscenter anchors narrate highlights without any hint of snarkiness.

...those same guys avoid hockey terms when talking about soccer.

...sports talk radio hosts discuss soccer stories regularly.

...Jim Rome's head explodes because of the previous.

...the ranks of the biggest sports star in the US include Europeans who aren't over 30.

...rappers are sporting the latest soccer jerseys.

...MLS no longer needs single-entity.

...Dan Shaughnessy writes a book on the Revs called "Curse of the Bachelor" (courtesy of Ginge)

...Google sponsors an MLS club (@wvhooligan)

...people refer to it as football. (@mellows)

...it's big in Canada. (@RWhittall)

...high schools start focusing more on Soccer in the athletics than Football. (@Bruno43)

...an Italian shuns the Azzuri to play for the USMNT. (@Eric_Howell)

...Budweiser redoes its age-old Bud Bowl for the MLS Cup, renaming it the Bud Cup. (@stoehrst)

...'Arry Redknapp makes an MLS club financially implode. (@stoehrst again)

...the national obesity rate goes down by a few percentage points. (@SoccerMontreal)

...there is a goal setup on the white house lawn. (@jasonseas) (apparently this has happened at least once)

...Americans decide to watch the champions league final instead of the Yankees-Mets game. (@mattpricewc2010)

...you can see more than one MLS game a week on basic cable. (@benuski)

...fans are making videos like this about MLS teams.

...Americans in top 5 European leagues are getting left off USMNT rosters.

...the MLS draft moves to Radio City Music Hall. (@jasongatties)

...our best centerback can actually get paid to play in Italy. (@MHaaskivi)

...there's a daily soccer radio show hosted by people with American accents.

...atheletes like Kobe Bryant, Lebron James and Michael Vick choose it as a career. (@jrodius)

...American kids dream about the MLS Cup as much as they do the Super Bowl or World Series.

...the average MLS salary reaches mid-six figures.



I could do this all day, and Twitter was certainly blowing up with responses. Can't take them all though, right? Let's go people...give it your best shot.

Blank slate. Ramble time?


Or a Larry King-style stream of consciousness collection of random thoughts?


More likely neither, but let's see how a directionless late night post goes...


As a fan of American soccer always looking for a breakthrough moment, even as I intellectually know it's extremely unlikely to happen, I wonder if this World Cup can provide it. England. Charlie Davies (maybe). ESPN's full court press. A confluence of factors that could be a tipping point. But probably not. Won't change anything for most of us anyway.


Still burning brain cells on the issues brought up over at Nutmeg Radio about US supporter music. Is our soccer culture too fragmented to ever find a coherent voice, or is that range of influences a strength that will allow us to form something truly unique? I hope it's the latter, even though I imagine it will be a long, painful process of stops and starts. What do American fans bring to the table as a group? It just might be up to people like the American Outlaws to figure it out.


The issue of American "style" came up thanks to Jurgen Klinsmann's comments on our apparent lack of one. This discussion, and the accusation that American soccer is devoid of distinct character elicits a fairly visceral reaction in me. The object is to win the game, which means playing your strengths; for Bob Bradley and the men that came before him, that means relying on defending and counter-attacking almost exclusively. I guess that in and of itself isn't a "style". Bah. Do what you need to do to win, and style will evolve over time. Most nations given the honor of having a "style" by experts have been A) successful internationally or B) operating top-flight leagues for decades. The US has done neither. Where's the appreciation for the time it takes to develop?


Speaking of Klinsmann, his naming to the ESPN crew dredges up all of those raw nerves from the US courtship of the German legend. The man's coaching resume is fairly thin when you think about it, though he does have "German National Team" and "Bayern Munich" in bold, 24 point font on it. Sure, his World Cup run carries weight, and his Americanized sensibilities might have made him a good fit here on some level. But I'm doubtful, without being able to prove it of course, that he could have done any better to this point than the coach we ended up with. Say what you want about Bob Bradley, he's managed to pull some fairly impressive performances out of this team. Confederations Cup aside, I can't help but wonder what might have been in Azteca if Donovan hadn't been ill and beaten to the end line for Mexico's winning goal. Yeah, I know. It doesn't matter much now.


I'm reading (in fits and starts) Filip Bondy's book Chasing the Game. It's the telling of the US story leading up to the World Cup, with some additional background on high profile players and Bob Bradley. There's nothing special about it, and there are a few fairly obvious mistakes that footy fans would catch, but it's not a terrible read. If you been around for awhile, it serves as a trip down memory lane; if you're new to the game, the National Team, or the World Cup buildup, it becomes more of a primer. There's room for that, and I'm glad to see books like this appearing; but as Adam Spangler rightfully pointed out in one of the first reviews I've seen of the book, there's little to no narrative, and the information presented is in no way new. Oh, and bits of it are maddening for people who know and love the game. Take it for what it is and move on.


How Larry King managed to spit out those USA Today columns in one sentence/thought bites, I have no idea. Maybe I'm just too damn wordy.


Have a good weekend.

Maybe it's because I'm from Philadelphia, but I always get a bitter taste in my mouth whenever I hear or read the words "New Jersey." Or maybe it's because kit manufacturers have a history of messing about in order to make jerseys look just different enough that they can get fans to buy them. Either way, there's some Pavlovian stuff going on in my noggin.


In closely related news, Nike had their "look at the shirt you all knew about months ago, isn't it awesome?" party today. In case you haven't seen it, here it is:


Yeah, I hate it too. When Nike said it was going to be 100% recycled, they weren't lying. At least the away looks better: (clicky) It's not that I don't like the sash. I mean, I don't, but it's not the sash itself that makes the shirt look stupid. It's the grey on white color scheme. It looks like the kind of curtains stuffy old rich people put in their summer homes. According the the press filler, they were doing it as an homage to the 1950 World Cup team, which is why they decided to wheel out Walter Bahr for the occasion.


Now, looking at that failed abortion up there and at the legendary 1950 shirt (here) that it's supposed to be paying tribute to, you can see the difference. The 1950 shirt is simple, yet classy. Red, white, blue. Stick a badge on it, and we're good to go. It has a sash, but it's not nearly as silly looking as later be-sashed efforts. It manages to not be boring, while not being needlessly busy. Somehow with the current top, Nike have managed to produce a shirt that is not only boring, but stupid looking, too. Is there a point to the red bits near the end of the sleeves? The extra white and grey piping around the sash? This shirt isn't as much tribute to the 1950 shirt as it is the bastard love child of that jersey and the last US home shirt, when it seemed Nike had finally reconciled their misconception that the US flag is white, grey, and blue with the public's need for a shirt that doesn't look like crap.


I didn't like our last World Cup jersey, either, although that might be because this is my abiding memory of that tournament. And maybe that's the problem with US jerseys. It's hard to get attached to one because it changes so often, and because it keeps changing, there's no time for a truly American look to cement itself. All of the true classics, like Argentina, Brazil, or Holland, have been largely unchanged for decades. Instead, we've got a motley crew of dated shirts like this one, the infamous "denim stars" look from the 1994 World Cup, or this uninspiring effort from 1990.


For once, I'd like the USSF to force Nike to pick a single look and stick with that theme for an extended period. It would help bolster the senses of tradition and identity in the US soccer community. And stay away from the sashes, please?

Not one of them
There are some very cool things going on in American soccer right now, but being just a couple sets of eyes, we at Match Fit USA don't get to see all of them. That's why we're asking for your help. For the next ten weeks, we'll be running a competition, aptly titled "The Coolest Things in American Soccer." We want you to send in pictures, videos, and links to inspiring stories or cool features from every level of the American game. Every week, we'll run our favorites, and on July 4th, we'll pick our very favorite item, and the person who submitted it will get a very stylish American Soccer Show t-shirt.

Send your entries to iheartjasondavis@gmail.com

One of the things that I've always loved about soccer in America is the DIY, punk rock ethos of the sport. While youth soccer (like any sport) can often be orchestrated painfully rigidly, and the very highest level of the domestic game is often an exercise in corporate legalese, there's a beauty to be found in low-level street soccer. I remember back in High School, I'd regularly play Saturday pickup games with a group of Mormon dental students, all of whom looked like they just finished an Abercrombie and Fitch photo shoot. The summer after I turned nineteen, I'd take two buses and a train on Thursday nights to play on a rocky West Philadelphia pitch, often being one of the only players in the country legally, and I'd get home around one in the morning, often bloodied. There were good players, and not-so-good players, but none of them was ever going to threaten to make it professionally. We were playing for simple love of the sport, for the cathartic release of a cutting pass, the triumphant feeling of a well-timed tackle, and that occasional, spontaneous ecstasy that comes from scoring a goal.


And then there's fandom. That weird cocktail of loyalty, competitiveness, socialization, love of sport, petty oneupmanship, and base tribalism that drives otherwise perfectly rational people to part with significant chunks of their hard-won lucre for the privilege of watching someone else play. Often, fans spend time and money crafting banners and tifo displays (The sheer size of Toronto's Dichio banner still takes my breath away), learning songs, and setting off pyrotechnics to show their support. I'm a member of the Sons of Ben (number 949, to be exact), and the story of the SoBs is a pretty interesting tale. Basically, a small group of soccer fans got bored with waiting for the league to give us a team, so they started going to games and MLS events with the sole purpose of annoying Don Garber into giving Philly a team. Long story short, the group isn't so small anymore, and we get to complain about goalkeeping errors and missed calls just like anybody else. The thing that always amazes me, though, is just how much work these average guys were willing to do to realize this pipe dream.


And it's certainly not just Philly fans. The American soccer landscape is more than just a lot of people who like game. It's a movement. There's a real cohesiveness born from the fandom, and shaped by our status as perennial underdogs. Our sport is under-appreciated by the mainstream American sports media, and in true punk fashion, we decided to solve our own problem. There is an impressive number of quality soccer blogs and podcasts out there, many of which were started by regular guys with normal jobs, who were simply tired of not seeing intelligent discourse about the game.


There's also a weird feeling of "we're all in this together" when it comes to rivals, which really doesn't exist in other major sports, or in soccer circles around the world. I may despise a certain group of over-caffeinated pitchmen masquerading as a soccer team, but deep down, I know it's better for the sport as a whole to have twenty thousand fans in a glorified bedpan than twelve thousand in the Meadowlands, and on some level, I want Red Bull Arena to be a success.


And then of course, there's Danny Califf's hair.

It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO.

That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom.


It may be very early days yet for the 2010 Major League Soccer season, but that won't stop me from confidently making some sweeping predictions based on extrapolation of a tiny sample of data. In fact, it just gives me more options to fail with, and more outlandish assertions to make that'll have me looking more sheepish than Carl Robinson eating lamb chops. I'll be taking a look at my serious pre-season predictions and see how they're holding up, and where necessary, waffle more than a Belgian politician at breakfast.

My Preseason Predictions:


Supporters Shield: LA Galaxy
I look pretty smart on this one so far. Three played, three won, and Landon Donovan has yet to break a sweat. Edson Buddle is scoring like a man possessed, although I wouldn't put that particular motivational tactic past Bruce Arena, who seems intent on reminding all those Sigi Schmid fans just who the best manager in American history is.


MLS Golden Boot: Fredy Montero
Well, he's got one goal, hasn't he? And yes, it was against an expansion team in their first ever game, and yes, Seattle will be trying to avoid the sophomore slump, and... To hell with it, I'll drink the Edson Buddle Kool-Aid. It's hard not to score when you've got the best player in the league serving you slices of fried gold all day long.


Coach of the Year: Piotr Nowak
I'm sticking with this one. Bruce Arena may have been a smarter choice, but if Nowak can guide the Union to the playoffs (By never, ever taking Roger Torres off the field), this award is his. Besides, the MLS brass is in love with Philly at the moment.


Newcomer of the Year: Ryan Smith
Well don't I look slick? The former Arsenal kid is pulling strings like Machiavelli, and has been involved in every single goal the Rainbow Warriors have scored this season. The moral of the story, kids? Blind homerism just works.


Rookie of the Year: Toni Ståhl
Wait, scratch that last moral. I figured with having just under 84% of all rookies in the league, someone on the Union would win, if only by law of averages, so I went with the player I felt was most ready to play in MLS. Well so far, he's been sent off in his first match, sent down to USL-2, and injured himself. Zach Schilawski is looking good for New England, just a shame all of his goals counted for Columbus.


Most Valuable Player: Kyle Beckerman
He may not have lit up the world just yet, but Major League Soccer's best dreadlocked white guy from suburban Annapolis is one of the best players in the league, and the most important component in the reigning champions. Until someone else steps up, my vote, not that I have one, is staying with Beckerman.


Major League Soccer Champions: Seattle Sounders
I still think that the Sounders have the kind of talent and experience needed to win the MLS Cup. They won't win the supporters shield, but they should make the playoffs, and they've got the kind of key players that can put a team over the top in important matches. I still think Seattle are the best bet to win the Cup, so no change here.

Week 2 of the experimental return of Deep Cuts. As I mentioned last week, the effort will be to bring you links to things you might not otherwise encounter on your daily scan of the internet, with an occasional mainstream story sprinkled in from time to time.


Let's get this party started.


The World Cup isn't creating jobs in South Africa

That sound you hear is the air leaking out of the "World Cup effects positive change" balloon.


Tim Howard is up for Merseyside Sports Personality of the Year

I wonder if the trophy is a sterling silver hubcap.


Another "Soccer is great, but MLS is doody" piece

College papers: Turning students into Eurosnobs one burnt out philosophy major at a time.


Growing soccer in African-American communities (Cached version because this site seems to have had a malfunction)

Nothing funny about this, other than the multiple mentions of soccer as a "white-boy sport".


Some guys talk about soccer players moving abroad

We have a winner in the "Huh?" category.


And finally, Happy Birthday to Avoiding the Drop, one of my favorite blogs. Yeah, I'm a day late. Sorry guys.


One more note before I go; I'll be appearing on the George Mason University Soccer Show this evening with host Ted Meyer between 5 and 6 PM ET. You can listen live here.

Working on the podcast at the moment, along with a view on the foreign club investment in U.S. soccer, so I don't really have anything for you right now.

Just some things off of the top of my head:

You know that post I did on celebrities and MLS? The one about how the league should be looking to soccer fans from all walks of the celebrity culture to promote it? Perhaps especially athletes?

Hopefully, there's at least one of those types joining the cause in a big way. Steve Nash is part of the Vancouver Whitecaps MLS ownership group, and I expect we'll be seeing a lot of him in the near future. As much as I love Drew Carey and what he is doing for Seattle and the league, Steve Nash has a bigger profile and more of a hip factor. It's a given that Nash will be involved in the marketing of his own team, I just hope the league takes advantage and uses him to push all of MLS.

I think the Galaxy-United game today is going to be very interesting on several fronts, not the least of which will be the attendance and enthusiasm of the crowd in L.A. Let's hope there isn't a Beckham backlash that leads to people not showing up.

I'm also very interested in the ESPN2 ratings for Thursday night: I've done a bit of poking around, and I can't seem to find them. If anyone has a link, please share. I don't expect them to be very good, because MLS ratings never are, but perhaps the excitement in Seattle carried over and there will be at least a small bump. ESPN certainly didn't promote that game like they should have, which isn't going to help.

Oh, and Aston Villa (I know, not American soccer related, but thought I would comment anyway) has completely fallen apart. Bye bye Champions League.

Photo credit: Associated Press

Busy, busy BUSY morning, so I'm multi-tasking my life away. Don't expect much from me today as I'm juggling the actual job, the MLS-Daily column, and various other personal concerns.

Quickly though, a few things I'm thinking about:

The Anheuser-Busch involvement in the St. Louis bid is WAY overblown.

I won't care about Beckham's supposed "committment" to American soccer and MLS until he actually shows it.

The $15 million pulled from the renovation fund by the Portland city council will cause a lot of consternation, but be no big deal in the end.

Provided everything we're hearing is true, and Vancouver and Portland will be playing in MLS in 2011, the Cascadia Cup will become, by default, the second most coveted domestic trophy by any MLS team. How sad.

You're probably on your own until later, so yuk it up in the comments so I have something to break the monotony every now and then.

I'm an angry man today. I'm a bitter prick, filled with vitriol for my fellow man. I could give you a litany of reasons for why I'm like this, but I won't bore you.

Instead, I'm going to channel the hate flowing through my veins into a blog post. When life hands you lemons, angrily rant about the things that piss you off, I always say. So today, I'm taking shots.

1. I can't stand blind homerism, no matter the form. Just admit you're in the bag for Mexican soccer. Most of us don't care anyway.

2. I'm sick of snarky, soccer-hating ESPN anchors. We get it, you don't like the sport. You'd rather be doing another mind-numbingly boring Big Ten college basketball game. Someone there obviously wants to sprinkle in some soccer though, so just shut up and narrate the highlight like a professional. I didn't realize Sportscenter was Showtime at the Apollo.

3. I hate the fact that I feel the need to defend a league that keeps screwing up. ARRGHHHH! What the hell is this "extended loan" crap? Sell the guy, or don't sell the guy! MAKE A DECISION! It pisses me off that you're giving crappy, ever-negative "writers" a golden soapbox to stand on and rip you with their impossible-to-read blog posts.

4. I hate expats that feed the haters. How is MLS ever supposed to improve or gain traction in the U.S. if those in positions of influence give the Eurosnobs license to ignore the league? We get it, your football palate is too refined for the nascent MLS; so just ignore it like everyone else and let Americans make up their own minds. People are followers, and when you constantly harp on the quality and organization of MLS, those who might have given the league a chance (and a few dollars) drift away, anxious to emulate the obnoxious English loudmouth they hear on the radio.

5. I hate the homphobic, idiotic, meathead-American-male statement that soccer is "gay". Okay, so maybe this one isn't worth the effort; I've just never addressed it, and I am venting here. Gay? Really? I mean, where does that even come from? I've learned through the course of my life that it's impossible to argue with an idiot; obviously anyone that calls soccer "gay" is just that. Still, something so stupid shouldn't be allowed to slide. Not only is it homophobic and discriminatory, it's completely ignorant. WATCH A PROFESSIONAL GAME YOU CLOSE-MINDED BASTARD! All of these Americans, running around declaring soccer "gay", and the vast majrority of them have never even attempted to watch a complete professional match. Ugh.

I got a little worked up there as I went along. I'm sure there are plenty of other things I could go off about, and I'll more than likely think of them as soon as I hit the "publish" button.

I'm having a rough day in a couple of different ways today, so I'm going to ramble a bit with no real regard for form or structure.

Apparently news is not my thing, so I'm going to be leaving to the professionals from now on.

Instead, I'm going to return to my roots here, and knock around a few issues that remain stuck on my mind.

1. What would Beckham and Donovan staying in Europe mean for the league?

Beckham-mania brought mainstream pub and put fannies in the seats, but never seemed to give soccer the push that some hoped for; I get the feeling that members of the soccer Illuminati view the whole experiment with a jaded eye, and wouldn't shed any tears if David and Posh stayed in Milan. Although attention waned and he may not be able to put 60k in the seats anymore, the postives far outweigh the negatives for a Beckham return (at least for the league; the Galaxy themselves are another story).

Donovan's loan and potential transfer is another beast altogeher. Landon is certainly taken for granted (or hated) in MLS, so the effect his departure may have could be negligible. Donovan certainly rasied the profile of the leage as the best American player, but I don't think it's necessary for him to play in MLS for the league to benefit. A strong showing in Germany can raise the profile of the league abroad much more than another 20 goal season in a Galaxy uniform can.

Beckham should stay, Donovan should go; the league will lose more if Beckham stays in Milan than if Donovan remains in Munich.

2. Will ESPN push USA-Mexico?

I have yet to see any ads pushing the game, and ESPN will do nothing until after the Super Bowl. It seems they are too busy pushing a ridiculous time-filling concept called "The Mount Rushmore of Sports". We've heard that the game will be shown on ESPN2 in HD, and while that's a step up from the usual ESPN Classic treatment, the lack of buzz from the network itself for the game is making me angry. I realize that the king of American sports is closing in on its biggest game, but ESPN has been known to show ads for events a month in advance, and we're well within that window for February 11th.

3. Are American soccer fans obligated to support WPS?

I don't think it makes me a bad person that I don't care at all about WPS. I'm guessing I'm not alone, but it seems that a lot of people out there are giving the new league attention. Maybe it's the lull between the MLS draft and the first preseason action; maybe it's a sense of obligation because the women's national team has had so much success. Either way, I can't drum up fake enthusiasm, and I might even "yech" a little every time an ad for the league appears on FSC.

4. What does the players' union plan for the upcoming CBA negotiations?

I don't know why, but my gut wants the players to make a firm stand and squeeze a little out of the league. I'm not sure how much money there will be to go around, but things can't stay the way they are if MLS wants to be taken seriously. I may to do some research, but I'm curious if the contract ownership situation will stay the same for the foreseeable future (I'm sure the league would fight tooth and nail to keep contract control).


Speaking of USA-Mexico, I would love to hear some Nats chirp back at those Mexican players who have recently taken shots at the U.S.

No more, as I've tapped myself out after a shameful oversight this morning.

Things have gotten a little away from me recently, and I haven't found as much time to sit down and spit out my thoughts as I thought I would.

I've intended to rail against Euro Snobs (it is one word or two?) for quite some time, but the vitriol can be tough to brew up on command, and with little action on the domestic front, my vitriol is lying dormant.

I will throw just a couple thoughts out into the blog-o-sphere:

1. I don't care about year-in-reviews
2. There is no reason to get excited for USA-Sweden unless you're Swedish and live in LA
3. If you're Swedish, send me some of your fish
4. I might be more excited for USA-Mexico than I am for the Super Bowl (of course, my boys didn't make the playoffs)
5. I still think a Super Bowl commercial is a good idea for US Soccer (but not necessarily MLS)
6. Whether you're a Beckham-maniac or a Beckham-hatiac, Mr. David playing well in Milan would be good for MLS
7. Landon's German adventure (re-redux) has the potential to be the single biggest thing to happen to US Soccer (as a whole) in 2009
8. A strong (semis?) showing in the Confederations Cup has the potential to be the single biggest thing to happen to US Soccer in 2009
9. Color me encouraged (I think that's a light greenish-purplish color) that some MLS teams are going on the hunt for talent (and possibly willing to pay for it)
10. As long as they don't get TOO big for their britches, I think the MLS players' union needs to step up and make some demands; don't let Garber's boys railroad you into another crappy salary structure

And finally, something non-footy that's drawn my attention recently: