And the Gods of soccer said to the supporter, "You are our most loyal servant, and your devotion pleases us. Go down to the terraces, and spread these laws amongst my people:"

1 THOU SHALT STAND for the full ninety minutes. It's okay though, if you sit down to have a beer at halftime.

2 THOU SHALT SING the songs of your club, and the chants of its people.

3 THOU SHALT WEAR YOUR SCARF even when it's 106 and bottles of water are four bucks. You can hold it in your hand if it's too warm, you big baby.

4 THOU SHALT REMEMBER THE MATCH DAY, AND KEEP IT HOLY, and remember not to schedule less important stuff then.

5 THOU SHALT QUESTION THE PARENTAGE AND QUALITY OF THE OFFICIALS every time a call goes against you, no matter whether it was deserved or not.

6 THOU SHALT TARGET THE OPPOSING KEEPER FOR ABUSE. Goalkeepers aren't real people anyway, so have at them.

7 THOU SHALT NOT WEAR ANOTHER TEAM'S JERSEY, especially if they're your opponent. You look like a total assclown, and nobody thinks you're cool.

8 THOU SHALT NOT DO THE F***ING WAVE. Does this look like AA baseball?

9 THOU SHALT NOT BLOW ON A VUVUZELA. Ever. Get a drum if you want to be instrumental.

10 THOU SHALT NOT FIGHT no matter how many times you've seen Green Street Hooligans.

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