-Keith Hickey

The schedule is out. The rosters are set, mostly. Even Davey B. has promised that he'll "like totally, definitely, have some of that pre-season" as soon as he's done playing footsie with Gareth Bale. And there's still a month of nothing left to go.

I miss the CBA. At least it was something to talk about.

So... what is there?

Charlie Davies has signed on loan for DCU. I saw that coming. You saw that coming. There were blind hermits in the Carpathian mountains who were all like "Dude, you know Davies is gonna spend the summer on loan at D.C."

Schellas Hyndman is busy turning an MLS Cup contender into a five-year project. Or he was starting to get creeped out by Heath Pearce. Dude has the crazy eyes. Like, straight up murder someone and then laugh about it over dinner at Olive Garden crazy.

RSL are really good. Did you know that? Yes, you did.

As a fan of an MLS club, I'm excited to see what the new season has in store for my Union. We've improved all over, shedding dead weight like Chris butterfingers-in-a-vasoline-shop Seitz and Eduardo famous-in-Argentina Coudet and Alejandro I-only-scored-two-goals-but-made-up-for-it-by-diving-a-lot Moreno, and picking up enough Colombians to re-enact Clear and Present Danger. Seba Le Toux to play Harrison Ford.

As a fan of MLS in general, I want to see if Thierry Henry is interested in the pretense of playing soccer, or if he just really really wanted to live near Questlove (Editor's Note: I prefer ?uestlove). Will Jeff Cunningham score two goals to take the all-time record? Which MLS rookies will do diddly-squat and then get call-ups from Bob Bradley? How will Wazza Roo's sickly, bed-ridden little brother cope in MLS? Can the Whitecaps get away with not playing any strikers? Can the league cope with the loss of OMGMEGASTARS like Robbie Findley and Jonathan Bornstein?

(For what it's worth, my predictions were: mildly; yes; Omar Salgado; nothing special but he'll hold his own; probably not, but nobody will care; definitely.)

So. What are you guys looking forward to? Answers on a postcard. Or in the comments section, down there. Yeah, that's probably easier than the postcard thing.

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