It's a fairly obvious statement: MLS is desperate for a little love from the mainstream sports media. Nothing the league or its teams seem to do are enough to get on the map in the U.S., and it might just be about time for desperate measures.
To that end, I've cooked up a few ideas for how MLS can artificially get itself a little attention from all of the soccer-hating no-nothing caca-brains in this country.
1. Run an ad campaign declaring baseball "dead"
Okay, so this one might piss off a few people. Still, the juice is worth the squeeze if even a few ex-baseball fans open up their minds to soccer, or if the national media picks up the story (no matter their angle, though it's guaranteed to be negative). All is fair in love and war, and I'm of the opinion that it's time for MLS to fire up the Shermans and get all Patton-in-Sicily crazy. Of course soccer won't supplant baseball in the American sports consciousness, but any possible opportunity for publicity should be seized upon like it's the last bottle of Smithwick's at a frat party kegger. Grab that thing and enjoy it, because you know you'll be drinking Red Dog for the rest of the night.
2. Create a massive bonus for cup winners
The U.S. Open Cup stinks. In it's current format, and with fixture congestion always an issue, MLS teams have treated the competition like reserve league. Though the idea might be a non-starter in the current economy, the creation of a sizable bonus for the MLS clubs involved could jump start things; add in a salary cap exception for the dollars awarded, and now we're talking. If your team had the opportunity to increase the money available for talent by $250k or so (random number), wouldn't you want them to go all out for the trophy?
3. Give supporters' groups the bully pulpit
The future of MLS is young, male, and possibly a little tipsy. There's nothing wrong with alcohol at a sporting event; that's why you pay security (I'm half-kidding). Short of validating any violent hooligan wannabes, the league should let their best supporters' groups speak for themselves. Buy a little time on ESPN or FSC and throw Barra Brava, the Riot Squad, the Nordecke rowdies, or any of a number of others into the spotlight. There is nothing in American sports like the nuts that make up soccer supporters' groups, and their passion might just rub off on some of the unconverted.
4. Fill a stadium or two no matter what the cost
As we've recently seen in Montreal, a bit of creative marketing and some cut-rate ticket prices can go a long way towards packing in the fans. With just a little more pride-swallowing, MLS could find ways to fill large stadiums for a couple of big matches each season and create the kind of atmosphere so many American soccer fans want to see. Forget Beckham; the league should do what it takes to get 50,000 in RFK without any Golden Balls-took-his-shirt-off shenanigans. It can be done; they just need to find the way.
5. Give promotion/relegation a little lip service
It can't hurt, right? The soccer public constantly clamor for it, and while it's unlikely to be instituted in the modern sports environment with owners unwilling to risk lost revenue, there's nothing that says Garber can't drop a hint or two that the league is "discussing" the idea of promotion/relegation. Giant tease? Of course. But would it get some attention from Bristol? I'm guessing it would. A concept as foreign and unique as pro/rel in the U.S. might make the heads of Tony Kornheiser and Jim Rome explode in a glorious fountain of deep red idiotic-soccer-hater juice. And we're all for that, right?
Most of these ideas are way out there, I know. Still, it's out-of-the-box thinking that's needed when all of the conventional methods don't seem to work. With me? Or not?
Give me your ideas. The wackier the better, just try to keep them within the realm of possibility.
