The New York Red Bulls are bad – pitifully, blatantly, and almost amusingly bad. They have the league’s leakiest defence, the most incompetent attack, an astonishingly appalling road record in which they have avoided defeat just once... the list goes on (and on).
Yet their ineptitude, their complete inadequacy, is set to be something of a story as the season draws to a close. While the majority of the league’s attention will be rightly focused on the race for the play-offs, there will be more than a few keeping an eye on the action at the bottom. Defeat following defeat following defeat... It’s become something to be sure of, something certain. In a league as open and competitive as the MLS the NYRB’s plight is a comfort.
Their crapness is also in danger of becoming historic.
New York’s stumble towards the Wooden Spoon is also set to be a stumble towards MLS history of the worst kind. They are on course, with just 10 points thus far, to record the worst season in MLS history – a record (14 points) held by the 2001 Tampa Bay Mutiny side, in a season always to be asterixed and all but invalidated by the tragic events in September that cut short the regular season to 26/27 games.
The Red Bulls need to gain four points from their final eight games in order to avoid a superlative season of failure. To put that into perspective – the team is currently suffering through a period in which they have gained just 1 point from a possible 36. They have not won a game since May. Gaining even another two or three points looks almost beyond reach.
All this makes Sunday’s game with Dallas strangely compelling. It’s a nothing game, really. Dallas, even with a couple of games in hand on some teams, surely can’t harbour realistic aims of reaching the post-season, while NYRB gave up on that dream months ago. Yet this is one of the few remaining games in which New York has any chance of winning. Dallas is very poor on the road (1-7-2), while all of NYRB’s wins (and by “all” I mean “two”) have come at home. Intruiging stuff. While the match line-up itself (NYRB vs. FC Dallas) might not exactly set the heart racing, the sub-plot (NYRB vs. History) might just heat up the prospect.
Derby County
Chelsea beat them 6-1. Arsenal thrashed them 6-2. Aston Villa humped them 6-0. West Ham strolled to a 5-0 win. Even Reading squashed them in a 4-0 rout. And these were just their home defeats. Yes, Derby’s 2007-2008 Premier League season was one to be forgotten. A pity, then, that it won’t be, as it broke almost all of the more unenviable EPL records. And then what happened? Derby were relegated to the Championship, in last place, with a solitary win. Five games into the next season they won their first game in 360 days.
San Marino National Team
Losing 4-0 to Switzerland in their first competitive game in 1990, the San Marino national side could have been excused for feeling somewhat doubtful about their chances in qualifying for the European Championships two years later. And then what happened? They didn’t qualify, nor did they qualify for any of the next eight international tournaments since then. I think the team’s fortunes can be summed up by the fact that the greatest result in their history was a 1-0 win over Liechtenstein. Five years ago. In a friendly.
East Stirlingshire FC
Last but most certainly least – Scotland’s whipping boys. Perpetually bottom of Scotland’s lowest division, the team achieved British infamy during the 2003-2004 season, when they gained just 8 points (from a possible total of 108). And then what happened? After a season of such epic failure (over 100 goals conceded!) a best-selling book entitled “A season with Britain’s worst team” was published while, strangely, a 6,000-member Norwegian fan club was established. The team finished bottom for another four years before, unbelievably, becoming good. In 2009 they reached the play-offs. There’s hope for NYRB yet.
