Hey.


HEY.


WAKE UP!


Oh, there you are. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to shake you out of it.


Looks like you've been having a nightmare. Something about soccer? You kept talking about the "CBA" and cursing the name of people called "Foose" and "Garber". Most of it was mumbling, but you seemed to be really worked up over "free agency". I couldn't tell you if you liked it or if you hated it, but you kept screaming it over and over. Sometimes you'd say "Fraser v. MLS" afterward, and other times you'd growl out the words "players' rights".


Must have been a hell of a bad dream, because you're soaking wet with sweat. Look at that scarf, it's drenched. I'm not sure why you were wearing it to sleep, but you must really love it and what it represents. I suppose it's your security blanket. By the way, that group of crazies you hang out with that stand and sing the entire match is unbelievable. And somehow, there are more of you every year. You might even call it a "movement".


Anyway, I was really worried about you there for a second. The screaming was pretty intense. You were thrashing around, too, and you even punched yourself a few time. I couldn't tell if you meant to do it or not, but I think you were muttering "The fans suffer most" between blows. Your face is a little swollen, and I think you're getting a black eye. You might need to put something on that in the morning.


Here, have a drink of water and try to stop hyperventilating. It'll be okay, I promise. You'll get up, start your day, and find everything is back to normal. All of those things you dreamed about will be gone, and you'll have a smile on your face before you know it.


You'll forget about labor negotiations and lawyers, mediators and strikes, and be back to cheering on your club before you know it. Soccer is a funny sport, you know, with the tribalism and the passion. I don't think there's anything out there like it. It's a good thing your bad dream was just that. It would be a pity to take that joy from people.


Good, you're wide awake. I'm glad I could put your mind at ease about this, you were really beating yourself up over it. I know you're a "Til I Die" kind of person, but you sounded like you even cared about other fans. "Poor Philly" and "Poor New York" came out once or twice, and you were moaning as if their plight caused you pain. Strange empathy can be confusing and heart-wrenching, I know.


All those empty stadiums...


I imagine that your nightmare was the worst thing you could possibly imagine. They're usually like that. I'm sure you think it couldn't get any darker.


Unfortunately, though, and I really hate to tell you this, it's not really over.


I'm not real.


You're not awake.


Well, back to your nightmare. Did I mention that the Players Union has voted to authorize a strike?


That should make your dream extra scary. Sorry about that.


Have a nice weekend.