It's not really my fault though. As part of my position at Goal.com, in exchange for free press box food and premium seating in an air-conditioned box with wi-fi (yeah, it's freaking sweet), I have to help write the weekly MLS previews. For whatever reason, I seem to get the Kansas City job a lot. I have to get one done tomorrow, in fact. Or rather later today, after I go to bed and wake up. Not that I'm complaining. About the work, anyway. I love the work, and it's interesting, being a neutral and following a team this closely. I would like it if they were better though, to help inject a little variety (Who's playing well? Kamara, maybe? Who's not up for it? Everyone else...). Intriguingly, the team they're playing this week happens to be my beloved Union. I'll do my very best to be as impartial as possible when writing about this game.

But enough about me. Let's get down to some nitty-gritty MLS stuff.

First off, the Fire must have embarrassing pictures of Lady Luck when she had a little too much boxed wine and experimented in college. I've covered their last two games for Goal, and somehow, they've managed to pick up 4 points from 6 when they probably deserved none.

It's got me thinking though. That's a very talented squad in Chicago. Quality veteran leadership and a proven scorer and big-game player in McBride. A deep midfield with Mapp, Nyarko, Pause, Husidic, Thorrington (should he ever get healthy), and Pappa. The defense is good enough to cover for the inexperience of keeper Andrew "Lenny" Dykstra. They're not as good or as deep as they were last year, but in my estimation, the Fire are one of the more talented sides in the East.

If (and this is a very big, ginormous, Sigi Schmid at a buffet sized IF of an if) Chicago can keep their luck AND find a way to get hot late in the season, AND figure a way to compensate for a couple of gaping holes (minds out of the gutter), this is a team that could threaten the playoffs. They're not good enough to win the Cup, but they've got enough to ruin someone else's season.

Speaking of ruined seasons, how about those mean nasty fans at the Home Depot Center making fun of poor Brian Ching? (Yes, I know they did it in dirty Jerz, too, but ESC is like six guys and their diabetic cat. You can find a more intimidating crowd in a nursing home.) Boo-frickety-hoo. Poor Brian Ching made a cool quarter mil last season to play soccer. Should he be disappointed at missing out on the World Cup? Absolutely. He'd be a terrible player if he wasn't. But it shouldn't affect his play for Houston, and even worse, why would you ever tell anyone that it gets to you? He's just made himself a target for opposing fans. A player with his experience, and of his importance to his team, should know what to say and what not to say to the press. We're assholes.

Also, would LA hurry up and lose? You think any team would be weakened by the subtraction of their three most talented players, but Bruce Arena's deal with Satan seems to be paying pretty decent dividends. I kinda wish they'd go back to sucking and I could go back to cracking "Superclub" jokes. Because all of a sudden, the Galaxy ARE looking like a superclub, and it's really annoying. Like Carrot Top in a cheaply-made commercial annoying.

In other news, the golden gift to Major League Soccer embarrassed the Revolution. Although really, it's not like New England need any help being an embarrassment, is it? Worst goals allowed amongst real MLS teams (sorry DC, but you're too much of a statistical outlier right now. Get above the expansion team and you count again), worst attendance drop-off in the league, and they still haven't had Twellman euthanized.

The Union's Danny "If your girlfriend's special gift were as late as his goals, you'd really mess yourself" Mwanga picked up his third stoppage time goal in as many games against Chicago on Saturday. I really don't have much to say about it other than it's a pretty incredible stat for any player, but especially one so young with as much pressure on him as he has, being the first pick of an expansion team. It's only reinforcing my belief that Peter Nowak is a really really smart guy who knows his stuff.

And finally, can we quit pretending we have conferences and switch to a single table? It's getting really embarrassing for us in the East, when our second and third place teams are New York and Toronto, the MLS moron twins. We play home and away anyway, let's just combine the standings and they can sit in comfortable mediocrity like they usually do.