Hola there, Italia-Bros and Azzurri-Hos!
It's your boy Gio here, writing my World Cup diary. Now, I signed on to do this last month, when that weak-ass Marcello Lippi and I were tighter than Snooki's tube top, and I was still planning on repping the mother country in the big show down in South Africa. I was all ready to get my hands on that sweet-ass Louis Vitton suitcase they give to the fly pimps who take home the hardware, but Lippi gets all insane in the membrane and drops my ass like a stage 5 clinger with a butterface. I would say I got dropped like it's hot, but your boy is so chill he's reversing that global warming business that uptight hater Al Gore started. Man, I was so stoked for this, you don't even know. You don't even know. The quality of guidette that puts out for a World Cup winner is freaking phenomenal. Still, gotta keep it chill for my Italia peeps. Vamos Azzurri, you dig?
Anyway, after they put this sexy face on the cover of ESPN, like I'm friggin' Mike Piazza or something, I agreed to do this little blog for these haters. And these tight ass weak boys, they said even though I was out of the World Cup, I still had to do it since I spent the money they gave me on jungle juice and some sweet henna tats of the Italian flag. I KNOW, right? Why you gotta mess with Gio's flow? I was so heated, I was gonna go Midwestern on their backsides. I should dial up my cousin Nicky to go loco on their roll-slowing backsides. He works at the Sanitation Department, so you know he's connected, if you feel what I'm saying. Boy looks like the Rock with a blowout and a spray-tan. Still though, I should just bring you Gio's chillness on the regular, and let you in on the GTL that goes down in Bergen. Maybe there's a Match Fit Italia I can write for next time? Cause I swear on my Scarface poster, I'm going to Brazil in 2014. There's more quality backside there than in a J-Lo video featuring Beyonce. No way your boy Gio misses out on that action.
Peace out like a Girl Scout
Gio ♥
