Here's a treat for our readers. During the Brazil - North Korea game, we've managed to get hold of the Party's official live commentary feed, and we will be bringing it to you as events happen during the game. Stay tuned for live coverage!
1st Minute: For the glory of the party and the Dear Leader, our heroic players have begun their inevitable triumph against the weak capitalist puppets of Brazil.
4th Minute: The glorious heroes liberate the oppressed ball from Western lapdogs.
5th Minute: The glorious heroes have invaded the corrupt Western half of the field. All glory to the working class!
8th Minute: The opressed ball is unwilling to allow corrupt Robinho to harass the heroic net.
11th Minute: All glorious heroes wishing to avoid reeducation are advised to begin winning.
18th Minute: Glorious heroes defending like mighty boulder against flower petals.
26th Minute: Glorious heroes have Brazilian pig-dogs cowering like Americans in Seoul.
31st Minute: Corrupt Western referee denies penalty to wronged glorious hero.
39th Minute: Natural Communist industriousness of Glorious Heroes is forcing the corrupt Westerners to bow down to the brilliant tactics and training of the Dear Leader!
HALFTIME. Half of the game is over. Devoted servants of the Dear Leader may now rejoice by clapping three times. No more, energy must be reserved for the service of your great country.
46th Minute: And now for the second half. The Glorious Heroes know the consequences if they lose.
50th Minute: Corrupt Western referees give a free kick to diving pig-dog.
54th Minute: Selfish players will be re-educated!
56th Minute: The Brazilians have not scored! The displayed scoreline is a Capitalist dirty trick. The replays were faked. It is not 1-0. All glory to the Dear Leader!
60th Minute: Enjoy this ten-hour compulsory documentary of the Dear Leader's glorious life.
61st Minute: There is a keeper in this game who does not value his family's lives very highly.
72nd Minute: The score is not two-nil. These are despicable Western lies to demoralize the great workers of North Korea. The Dear Leader would not allow such a travesty to happen. The Brazilians have not scored.
84th minute: The glorious heroes have scored 14 goals. The corrupt Western puppets of the evil Americans are bowing down to the superiority of the Korean workers. The score is 14-0 to the glorious nation of Korea! All glory to the Dear Leader!
89th Minute: The Glorious heroes of Korea have scored their 15th goal! All glory to the dear leader!
FULL TIME: The match has ended. The glorious nation is victorious by 15 goals to none. All hail the Dear Leader.
