I hate Major League Soccer; and no, I haven't gone Euro snob. I don't hate the league itself, or the players in it, or the quality of play they provide. I don't hate the financial restrictions (although they frustrate the hell out of me) or the stadium issues, and I don't hate the plastic grass or the draft that doesn't fit the sport. It's not even the dodgy marketing decisions the league makes, or the hokey way it sometimes goes about its business; no, I tolerate all of those things. What I hate, and always have, is the name. Major. League. Soccer. Ugh.

Let's not even go near the "soccer v. football" discussion; that's a topic for another time. The name of the game, at least in this country, is soccer. Attempting to appropriate the term "football" from the American sport that bears that name would have been folly; soccer would have suffered from a tsunami of backlash a thousand times greater that the wave of disdain and indifference it came to receive.

But why "Major League Soccer"? If the founding fathers of MLS were going to choose a name derivative of that of another American sports league, why not "National Soccer League"? Or "National Soccer Association"? By forcing the "major" designation on the new league, the organizers simply reminded a skeptical American audience that the league was, in fact, far from "major". Perception at the time of its launch turned the term "major league", as it was being applied to soccer, into an ironic joke that American sports fans were more than willing to point out.

For thirteen years MLS has been burdened by a name that smacks of bad 90's marketing. Unfortunately, the decision to start from scratch and reboot professional soccer in America occurred in the era of pastel colored uniforms and expansion teams with poorly chosen nicknames; the label "Major League Soccer" seems just another example of the poor foresight endemic of the period. In 1993, when the USSF chose the proposal that eventually led to MLS, two other competing proposals were submitted: one from the APSL (American Professional Soccer League, which became the A-League), and one from "League One America". While the business model suggested by League One America obviously fell short, we have to give them credit for the name; how different might the perception of our professional league be, if instead of Major League Soccer, it was called "League One America"?

Maybe I'm wrong; maybe the name doesn't matter. Maybe all of those people out there that believe soccer to be a second-rate sport with not enough scoring would still feel that way if the league was called something else. Maybe the difference would be negligible, and only a few would be more intrigued by a competition named something like "League One America". Maybe some would see it as pretentious, and everything would wash out, with no net gain or loss. Maybe I'm wasting my time, writing about something no one else cares (or thinks) about anymore. Maybe I should just go back to worrying about things like salary caps and designated players.

What is in a name? Does it truly matter? Am I the only one questioning how the name of something might effect how it's perceived? If we conducted a poll of one thousand Americans on their thoughts about the name "Major League Soccer", what would the results show? I'd be willing to be that they wouldn't be pretty.

I suggest a change. Give the league a new name, and in the process, a new image. It doesn't seem to me that "Major League Soccer" has so much market penetration that it can't justifiably be thrown on the scrap heap; why hang on to something simply for the sake of holding on? Why not admit a mistake was made and attempt to correct it? A rebranding of the league itself should do no harm to the clubs, and the hype surrounding the announcement of a new league name and logo (I hate that thing, too) would be an easy way to gain exposure. For me, the pros far outweigh the cons.

Hopefully, one day in the not-so-distant future, MLS will wake up and take note of these problems. A name seems a small thing, a thing unlikely to hold the league back. But the impact of these small things is often underestimated, and can derail efforts that are seemingly strong in every other area. Americans like their sports to have a feeling of gravity, an aura of importance that belies their actual place in the grand scheme of life. The name "Major League Soccer" doesn't have that gravity. Fear of change, or a hesitance to make a change, is no excuse for allowing a poorly perceived moniker to endure. Until Major League Soccer recognizes the importance of this small thing, they may always be minor league.


So what should the new name be in this imaginary world of mine where this scenario can actually happen? Toronto ruins "League One America" of course, and "League One North America" is okay, but seems a little clunky. Any ideas?